Shiva and Parvati's marriage

In lack of prior context, people referred the first enlightened person as adiyogi (the first yogi). Later, on one full moon night (guru Purnima), adiyogi decided to share his wisdom with seven sages (sapta rishis) and became the first teacher, hence, he is also called adiguru (first guru). He had perceived something which no one had perceived before.

As per one of the theories, Shiva means ‘that which is not’, representing everything which is beyond our perceivable limits, something from a completely different dimension. As Adiyogi perceived this unperceivable, thus, he is Shiva. Every human is believed to have capabilities of perceiving what Shiva has perceived, hence every human is also Shiva. Every tangible and intangible matter in the universe can be traced back to the same origin as of Shiva, hence everything around is also Shiva.

In Riga Veda, word Shiva means good or auspicious. Etymologically word Shiva originates from root word “Shi” which means auspicious. It is a state where mind is in blissful reality. Everything that does good is also Shiva. Shiva is both, tangible and intangible, it represents duality. Hindu philosophy is full of such duality concepts, things/thoughts appears to have two forms, but they are one and the same. This concept has been explained well in a Sanskrit hymn Nirvana Shatakam and in teachings of Adi Shankaracharya.

Unaware of events and denials at Himavat’s palace, Shiva continues his descent through the kingdom. Today, Shiva in his tangible form is among his believers and they can’t get enough of him; his presence is celebratory. Through a short nachari “Jogiya ek hum dekhlon” (a hermit I saw), Vidyapati has captured this rejoice. He describes, the human form; hermit Shiva has taken is limitless and cannot be described through words. His physical body is made of five elements (earth, water, fire, air, and space), and has three big eyes, back riding a bull, is wearing tiger hide. Flowing through his tangled hair is the holy river Ganges, the crescent moon over his head appears like a radiant tilak. His form is so blissful, in an instance it destroys all forms of sorrow. Blessed is Parvati to receive Shiva as her husband.

On the other hand, Parvati’s mother Mena is still trying to brain-wash Parvati. In a nachari “Gauri kathila karab vivah” (Gauri, why do you want to marry this hermit), Vidyapati tries to capture her futile efforts. Mena wants to know why Parvati wants to marry an old digambar (one whose clothing is sky, essentially lives naked)? He does not even have one square feet of land to grow food and feed her daughter, nor is he a farmer to work for someone else and earn some wealth. He is a hermit who survives on what people offer to him, one who cannot assure food for self, how will he ensure Parvati's survival? All day long he is intoxicated on cannabis, Datura, and other hallucinating edibles, and gets upset on trivial things, why do you want to marry him? Everyday he visits crematorium and smears his body with ash, enjoys and dances among ghosts and goblins (ghosts and goblins are the social outcasts which the society sees as ghosts and goblins), how will you live with him knowing that even his bull is ready to trample anyone coming near him?

One can be convinced only if they are ready to get convinced. Shiva understands what a monkey mind cannot, thus many fail to understand Shiva, they fail to see beyond his looks and appearance. Parvati understands Shiva and accepts him for what he is, she also understands her mother’s inability to see beyond Shiva’s appearance. Parvati has made her mind and nothing in this world and beyond can change her decision. Such is her determination and focus. Realizing this, Mena gives up on convincing Parvati. Left with no choice, she decides to accept Shiva as her son-in-law.

Shiva, along with his guests (baraat), finally makes it to the entrance of Himavat’s adobe. In a nachari “Ge mai Chandramukhi san Gauri” (my friend, like a sunflower is my daughter Gauri), Vidyapati has beautifully captured it all. In Mithila culture, when groom arrives at the doorsteps, an elder lady (mother of bride at times) welcomes groom, this process of welcoming is called Parichain. Parvati’s mother Mena arrives at the doorsteps to welcome Shiva.

Appearance of Shiva is so frightening, Mena faints just at a glance of him. Everyone rushes to the rescue, every-time she is revived, she opens her eyes and faints again. Parichain is put on hold as Mena needs some attention, the situation is delicate and tension grows. Mena is just not ready to accept Shiva and shares her concerns with everyone around her. She says, Parvati is like a sunflower and as parents, they wanted to marry her to someone as radiant as sun and not a frightening figure such as Shiva. She questions sage Narada, what has she done wrong to him, for him to take such a revenge on them and bring marriage proposal of an old frightening hermit. Pretty is my daughter and yet Narada has got such a horrifying husband for her. She declares not marry Parvati to such a hermit, no matter if Parvati remains single all her life.

Helplessly Parvati is watching everything, fears of her mother and indifference of Shiva towards everything happening around. Parvati senses tension between her parents and her groom, this had happened before when she was Sati. This time, her parent’s approval is important, her mother must welcome Shiva. For this to happen, Shiva should change. She runs to Shiva and tries to convince him (to command is sign of ego, and Shiva is destroyer of ego, hence he cannot be forced into anything). She expresses to him, how her parents and everyone around are not enlightened enough to understand who you are, but you are enlightened enough to understand where they come from. Hence, only you can salvage this situation. Behave as they wish to, indulge with them so that they can acknowledge you and try to understand you and will eventually realize who really you are. As looks don’t matter to you, why don’t you take a form which satisfies everyone?

Shiva touched by Parvati’s sensitivity to him and her family, decides to indulge with the world. He transforms into Somasundara, the one who is as beautiful as the moon. Stripped of ash, snake, and the animal hide, instead smeared with perfumes and covered with silk, he is tall and the most handsome man anyone had ever seen. In this form, he asks Parvati’s parents for Parvati’s hand in marriage, and it is given. When Shiva indulged with the nature, with the society, he himself gets elevated from Shiva to Shankara, the doer of good. He can no longer be seen as a meditating hermit, but a family man with both his eyes open, observing the nature and the society. This was the day when social outcasts, the Asuras and defenders of rituals, Devas, danced together.

Soon after the marriage ceremony, Shiva along with Parvati, returns to Kailash to live a married life. Shiva is a loving and concerned husband, but he is also Bholenath (the innocent one) and fails to understand responsibilities of being a husband. He often fails to meet Parvati’s expectations which results in conflicts. Their married life is full of numerous such petty conflicts. Logic seeks perfection while nature is not perfect, these petty conflicts are symbolic to logic acknowledging imperfections.